Roofie drugs, Justin Bieber, and my search for a new car

I’ve had a bit of a wild, vehicular summer. First, I moved from North Carolina to California, driving all the way across country with my husband, two quarrelsome teenagers and one strange, OCD dog in a loaner Buick Enclave. And since I’ve been here, I’ve driven an assortment of new vehicles. So, after living for years in a town where I rarely needed a car, I have spent an inordinate amount of time behind the wheel lately. But I left my own car on the east coast. And that means, in addition to all the other reasons I have for getting behind the wheel of new automobiles, I am also shopping for one. That’s fair warning, okay? Because, for me, a purchase of that size includes a lot of research. In fact, the purchase itself is driven as much by my affection for technology as it is by my need for wheels.

So, what with my job and this pressing need to purchase, I am going down a rabbit hole of in-car technology. I plan to to drive a lot of cars so I can understand all my new-car options. I’m not talking about just the comfort, cup holder, miles-per-gallon options. Right now, new cars sport some of the most interesting technology in creation. And that’s the stuff that slays me. I want a car that will nag my teen driver about tailgating. I want one that will rat him out if he takes the car for a joy-ride while I’m sleeping. I want a vehicle that’s smart enough to warn me if I’m about to smack into something or switch lanes when I only meant to switch radio stations. I want it to let me easily dial up a music playlist that suits my road trip – even if it’s just a trip to the store. I want one that lets me nap while it handles any trips involving long stretched of CA I-5. I want it to have a Wi-Fi hotspot so my passengers can be productive and entertained. And I want it to offer to chill or warm my butt at the flip of a switch. I want to have fun if the mood to drive irresponsibly fast takes me. But I want it to be big enough to hold my family and the sporting equipment I like to play with.

I started this search months ago when I wrote a story for JeanKnowsCars.com on buying a used car online with Carvana.com. That story – which involves duct tape, roofie drugs, and Justin Bieber’s spending habits is here. Or just watch Carvana’s (pretty funny) Whistleblower video above.

I don’t know if I will find the car I want – in this decade. And I’m pretty sure if I do find it, I won’t be able to afford it. But the search will be fun. So stay tuned for highlights.